31 Jul 2012

[Presents] - MST3K Future War

The "author" is taking a week off, to rest, relax, and maybe kill off some aquatic life. And he's doing this far way from the so called internet. So, in place of two day old news, angry, judgy reviews, and long, rambling opinions on how people, far more successful then he'll ever be, suck, he's going to post one of his favourite episodes of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 each day. He'll be back next week to be long winded and judgy.

I think the best thing you can say about 1997's Future War is an observation made by one of the Bots in the episode: "It's not the future, and there is no war." Episode four of season ten, which would be MST3K's last, was a perfect example of the show's Sci-Fi channel era, and of the show in general. The movie is beyond terrible, to the extent that cast and crew noted while it was being made that it would end up on the show. And, inexplicably, there are dinosaurs.

Not good ones, by any stretch of the imagination.

30 Jul 2012

[Presents] - MST3K Werewolf

The "author" is taking a week off, to rest, relax, and maybe kill off some aquatic life. And he's doing this far way from the so called internet. So, in place of two day old news, angry, judgy reviews, and long, rambling opinions on how people, far more successful then he'll ever be, suck, he's going to post one of his favourite episodes of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 each day. He'll be back next week to be long winded and judgy.

Werewolf, episode four of season nine, was a 1996 film starring a cast whose grasp of the English language could be described as "tenuous at best." It was one of several films mocked by Mike and the Bots to star Joe Estevez, who, until Charlie, was the member of the Sheen/Estevez clan everyone was least likely to admit actually was related to them. It also holds the record of being the movie to make it on the show the quickest, appearing only two years after it's release. Like many, many films the show featured, it is more well known for it's appearance here then on it's own. And honestly, can you blame it?

27 Jul 2012

He Only Had To Stay There For As Long As It Was Funny, And It Wasn't Funny Anymore

Christopher Nolan purposefully left out any mention of the Joker from The Dark Knight Rises, out of respect to Heath Ledger. What it did was create a massive question mark in the middle of the 'plot', and all through the film, I kept asking, what is the Joker doing during all this? The above page was scanned by MTV from the official novelisation of the film, by Greg Cox, and in one sentence, explains his absence. In perfect Joker fashion.

Walking out of Rises, all I could think was that Joker's reaction to Bane's actions would have been more proactive then Batman's. Because Bane wasn't about chaos, he was about installing his own rules, the Joker would rebel against him just as hard as he had Gotham and the mob. Which was one of the reasons that I assumed the Joker had been 'removed', because Bane wouldn't have lasted a day if Joker had been around. Joker wouldn't have cared about a bomb going off, and would have single handedly taken down the League of Shadows just out of spite.

And that's a movie I would have much prefered to see then the one we got.

Via ComicsAlliance.

Riddles In The Dark

This is so close to not being worth posting, but I felt I had to for a very important, personal reason: back in the day, when I first read the Hobbit, this was the chapter that made the biggest impression on me. Not the dragon, not the wargs, or eagles, or the Battle of Five Armies. It was Riddles in the Dark. Gollum and Frodo. So this picture makes me feel shiny inside.

I might as well, to pad out the post, make mention of the rumour that The Hobbit might become three movies rather then two. The fact that New Line hasn't officially commented on it suggests that they are considering it, and that makes me uncomfortable. I was alright with it being two films, because I was confident that Jackson and Co. could make it work. Character expansion would account for some, and the Battle of Five Armies isn't described at all in the book, so there would be quite a bit of room to grow there. And Gandalf and Council would account for additional time. But somehow stretching out the second part into three seems like the very definition of decompression.

And if Jackson were interested in filming more of the appendix and supplementary material, I'd be more content with him leaving that stuff for extended DVD releases. I love the extended versions of the trilogy, but I wouldn't have sat through them in a theatre. As it stands, I watch them as six films, not three. And even if everything else were pushed into a third film, I'd still be disinclined to see it in the theatre.

I'd like to here from Jackson as to which additional material he was considering, and make my judgement from there. I'd be fine with a movie just about Gandalf roaming Middle Earth, learning things, but I don't know that the general public might be as accepting.

Mary Tamm, The First Time Lady, Has Died

Courtesy of the BBC
 Following a prolonged battle against cancer, actress Mary Tamm has passed away at the age of 62. Tamm is best known as the first actress to play the role of Romana, the first proper Time Lady, and the second (and to date, last) female Gallifreyan seen on the series. She remained with the show for a single season with the Fourth Doctor, from '78 to '79, during the Key To Time arc.

Tamm joined the show when script editor Douglas Adams made it clear that Romana wouldn't be a damsel in distress, and indeed at the start she was clearly the smarter, and the more cautious of the pair. Over the course of the season though, the room began to conform more to the 'standard' model'. This shift, along with her pregnancy, resulted in her leaving the show.

This news has particularly stuck me, as Tamm always topped my list of favourite companions, and I much preferred her over her successor. While it is always sad when someone dies, it is particularly sad when it comes just over a month after the death of Caroline John, and just over a year after both Elizabeth Sladen and Nicholas Courtney, all of cancer.

Via Den of Geek.

[List] - Justice League Film Part 1: Which Version Of The Team Should Appear On Film?

So, lets say that DC and Warner Bros can get their act together and make a Justice League movie. I say they can't, but lets pretend for a moment. Marvel faced a similar choice with the Avengers, and went with the original, classic, some might call iconic lineup. What's open to them now is introducing other fan favourite lineups in possible sequels.

While the Avenger's team in nearly always in flux, with members coming and going, dying, being replaced by aliens, evil robots, or being wiped from existence, the Justice League has remained basically the same for the entire 52 year history of the... holy shit, I only just realised that DC introduced the New 52 during the 52nd anniversary of the Justice League. Unless, did the New 52 start this year or last? Because if it was last year then no, I was wrong, and DC are still idiots instead of subtle geniuses.

Anyway, if you hit the jump, we'll go through the major eras of the Justice League, and which might fit best on film.

26 Jul 2012

Christopher Nolan Says Goodbye To Batman

Christopher Nolan has penned the foreward to a forthcoming book entitled The Art and Making of the Dark Knight Trilogy. My personal feelings towards the final chapter aside, I loved the first two instalments, and believe honestly that Nolan did something with not just the character, but with comic book movies in general that few others could have: he made them respectable. He made people take notice of them, for being legitimate. You think Marvel could have made their Phase 1 movies without the public taking them seriously? You think Avengers could have made all that money if the public's idea of the comic book movie hadn't change dramatically? I don't.

You can read the whole foreward after the jump.

Manos: The Fate Is In Your Hands

As developed by FreakZone Games for your various portable devices, here is the trailer for Manos: The Hands of Fate as a 2-D side scroller, less so based on the movie, and more so based on the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode that made that movie famous. The trailer includes another shout out to MST3K, and the game may include yet more.

For anyone who might have been living in some strange commune, where the Grand Leader refused to pay Time-Warner for cable or broadband, and have never seen the episode, I've included all 91 minutes of hilarious mediocrity after the jump.


Not The Actor We Need, But The Actor We Deserve

Christen Bale visited the victims of the Aurora shooting on Tuesday. He didn't tell anyone he was doing it, and it was only because people starting tweeting about it that anyone found out. I might not have liked the film, but I like the class.

Good on you, sir.

Via Topless Robot.

[Review] - Warehouse 13 Season 4, Episode 1, "A New Hope"

Previously on Warehouse 13...

Hit the jump for the review, which contains spoilers fuels by hate.

25 Jul 2012

Bachelorette is Bridesmaids' Darker, More "I'll Cut You" Cousin

Judging from the reactions, I think I must have been the only person who hated Bridesmaids. I thought it was another example of the Apatow comedy style, with too thin, or too meandering a plot, and that if they had zeroed in on a single narrative to follow from top to bottom, it would have actually been a movie instead of the vignette style comedy free for all, where some gags find their feet, and others flounder on the floor like a sedated cat. I didn't find it particularly original, or ground breaking, and I barely laughed. That and afterwards, I realised that Rose Bryne was the hero, and Kristen Whig was the villain, and it blew my mind.

So, I step into Bachelorette with trepidation, because I had a lot previewing buzz gearing me up for Bridesmaids. Bachelorette has Lizzy Caplan, James Marsden and Adam Scott, so already it wins the 'cast I enjoy more' prize, though it also has Isla Fisher and Kirsten Dunst, both of whom I'm not fans of (I've never seen Dunst in a role I've enjoyed. She kills movie joy). It's also supposed to be dark, and I like dark. But the trailer... I don't know... I just don't know.

Via /Film.

The Tick > Batman

College Humor has released another of their Batman parodies, the first two of which I enjoyed quite a bit. But when watching this one, I couldn't help but notice something familiar. It's almost as if they ripped off the gag from the short lived, live action Tick series starring Patrick Warburton. In fact, it's exactly like that. Because here is it:

For shame College Humor. For shame.

Via The Mary Sue.

[Review] - The Dark Knight Rises, In IMAX

Courtesy of WarnerBros.
Dark Knight Rises is like Christmas morning. You know it's coming from a long way off, and all you can do is squirm in your place, wondering what's in all those pretty boxes. You guess wildly, shooting for the impossible, and the obvious, all in an effort to stave off the skin crawling uncertainty that plagues you every time you look at the tree. And then it arrives, and you rip into things, and when all is said and done, you got everything you asked for.

But it feels empty. It feels like something is missing. All that anticipation, and the wondering, and when it finally arrived, it was too short lived, and it wasn't as good as you'd hoped. The voice in the back of your head whispers softly, "It wasn't as good as last year."
Hit the jump for the review, which has a spot light on the roof that displays the word "spoilers" in big shining letters on the sky.

24 Jul 2012

The Dark Knight Trilogy

Because tomorrow I'll be posting my review of the Dark Knight Rises, here is the fan made trailer of the entire trilogy that made its way around the internet last week. It's pretty damned impressive, though not to my mind as good as the Trilogy Trailer with the Prestige voice over. That, and it missed the perfect opportunity to use the "why do we fall?" line, but I'll get over it.

Via The Mary Sue.

Captain America and Thor Sequels Have Casts

Captain America: The Winter Solider has confirmed two cast members joining Chris Evans in the modern day set follow up to both Captain America and The Avengers. The first is a returning cast member, Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes, who died in the first film, but anyone who is able to google "The Winter Solider" knows something everyone else doesn't. The other announcement is Anthony Mackie, seen in films such as The Hurt Locker, and The Adjustment Bureau, as The Falcon, famously forgotten as Marvel's first African American superhero.

Back a while ago, when I was making baseless casting suggestions for future Marvel movies, I suggested that LeVar Burton should play Falcon, as an older SHIELD or Stark scientist who could function as a Q to Cap's Bond, and effectively replace Howard Stark as Cap's equipment guy. Marvel obviously went in a different direction age wise, but I think I should still get points for correctly guessing that Falcon would appear in a Captain America movie.

Thor: The Dark World, which I now believe should actually be called The Dark Realm, because that sounds less stupid, has been the subject of much musing about the internets, and most people have agreed that the title more then likely refers to Svartalfheim, realm of the Dark Elves, and the seventh branch of the World Tree. While it is ruled by Alflyse in the comics, it was once controlled by Malekith the Accused, whose goal was to conquer the Nine Realms, including Earth and Asgard. This was the role that many assume Mads Mikkelsen was signed on for before he backed out.

If any of this turns out to be true, I approve.

Via ComicsAlliance and Den of Geek.

Colin Mochrie Is Caught Playing With His Dolls Again

There was a joke in Canada back in the early days of the millennium that Colin Mochrie was on every Canadian TV show. Mostly because, he was. But gone are those halcyon days, and now he's just a man, with a camera, taping himself reenacting his favourite scenes from Star Wars with some classic Kenner toys.

That's how you know he's a fan. He's using classic Kenner toys, because screw detail and articulation.

Via Topless Robot.

[Review] - Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 2, "Madrigal"

Courtesy of Sony Pictures Television
Over the past month or so, creator Vince Gilligan was been talking, be is jokingly or seriously, about a Saul spin off of Breaking Bad. And while I'm sure there are enough less then legal avenues such a series could take, may I suggest a half hour comedy, in the vein of Better Off Ted, about the German food stuff laboratory at Madrigal. As the cold open here proves, nothing contains more comedic opportunity then Germans being utterly humourless.

Also, the German for ketchup is 'ketchup'. Good to know.

Hit the jump for the review.

23 Jul 2012

Men In Black 4 Is A Thing That Is Happening

Sony made a health amount of money with Men In Black 3, and surprised everyone with it also being pretty enjoyable. So, it makes perfect sense that they would want more money, by making MIB4.

Now, the obvious studio decision is to include Will Smith as many more times as he'll come back for, but am I wrong in thinking the smarter move, from a narrative direction, is to drop Smith and move the series into the past, following Josh Brolin's younger Kay. They've got an entire cast, with Alice Eve as his female partner (first female agent, maybe?), David Rasche as X, and Bill Hader as W. None of them had anything to do in 3, so much so that it felt like a set up for a sequel. They could go the route of the X-Men First Class films, and move up through the decades, until they catch up with the original.

Because how many more times can we go over the same basic plot and have it be fun? The past suggests two out of three times.

Via Den of Geek.

First Man of Steel Trailer

It's been playing in front of Dark Knight Rises, and now it's on the internet.

Can we all agree that this is a joyless exercise, with the Deadliest Catch footage and the depressing Lord of the Rings music? The whole point of Superman is that he is the opposite of Batman: he's a bright, beacon of hope, not a dour, monochromatic sea hobo. I know that it's a teaser, but Superman is the worlds oldest superhero. Showing him isn't a reveal, it's just cheap.

So congratulations Zack Snyder and Warner Bros, for wasting my time and making me sad.

Via Den of Geek.

How Do You Fight Cthulhu? When In Ireland, Booze And An Nailgun

Based on the trailer alone, Grabbers stands to be my favourite film of the year. Starring Richard Coyle and Russell Tovey, it's about an Irish village that figures out getting pissed and staying that way is the only effective method of surviving an alien/squid monster invasion. While I think they obviously missed an opportunity when not casting Dylan Moran in the Irish alcohol movie, I'm willing to move past it.

Via Topless Robot.

A Small Child Is Better Then You, Names Joss Whedon 'Gerald'

My Dark Knight Rises review won't be up until later this week, because I couldn't get tickets to see it until Tuesday. In the mean time, here is a video made of pure joy.

Do you read Axe Cop? Cause I didn't, then I did, and it is awesome. True story. This web series is basically the same idea as Axe Cop, in so much as, it's a small child, and he makes up stories at the urging of two oddly unexplained men. Someone darker then I might read more into that, except I was too busy being distracted by the hilarity of Dave Foley playing a milkman, Kate "The Gooch" Miccui as A Lady, and Joss Whedon as Gerald.

Via Topless Robot.

20 Jul 2012

Several Dead At Batman Screening In Colorado

Image courtesy of CBS News/AP, photo by Ed Andrieski
 This is terrible.

A masked gunman has killed at least a dozen people during a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises, in Aurora, Colorado last night. Reports early this morning placed the total number of people killed in this attack, which occurred approximately half an hour into the film, at 12, though that number could be as high as 14. A further fifty people were hurt during the attack, by either stray bullets, tear gas, or during the ensuing panic.

Suspect James Holmes, 24, surrendered to police behind the theatre without resistance. Reports by those in the theatre say that a man wearing a gas mask entered screening room 9 at around 12:30 am, and released what is thought to be a canister of tear gas. Several movie goers thought it was part of a stunt, as the film has as it's main villain, a terrorist. The release of the gas was quickly followed by several shot fired into the audience, and the ceiling.

Several of the victims of the attack were children, the youngest being a three month old child who was later released from hospital. A total of six victims were taken to the nearby Children's Hospital, with no further details available. Six area hospitals received wounded and critical patients after the event.

Police recovered four weapons, two pistols, a shotgun, and an assault rifle, as well as a gas mask, military grade body armour and unidentified explosives, from the theatre, and suspects car, which had been parked strategically outside the nearest emergency exit. Police believe the attack was heavily planned. When police arrived at Holmes place of residence in Denver, they found it to be heavily booby trapped, and promptly evacuated the surrounding neighbours. There is the suggestion it could take days to safely enter the home.

President Obama commented on the tragedy during a speech at Fort Myer, Florida this morning, saying
"There are going to be other days for politics," Mr. Obama said. "This, I think, is a day for prayer and reflection." Mitt Romney also commented, saying "during this time of deep shock and immense grief. We expect that the person responsible for this terrible crime will be quickly brought to justice."

Police aren't commenting is the shooting had anything to do with the film itself, though that is unlikely. Holmes reportedly dropped out of the Colorado University School of Medicine last month. The theatre reportedly had a capacity of 300 people, and was expected to be full. More then likely, Holmes was simply targeting what he knew would be a heavily crowded and isolated area.

Via CBS News.

Godzilla Returns

Apparently. Gareth Edwards appeared at the Comiccon to screen a short bit of footage of the iconic beast trudging through a desolate wasteland of destroyed buildings and beaten monsters. From the description, Edwards is interested in making a 'realistic movie', closer in tone and message to the original Japanese film, which was well known to be a metaphor for the effects of the bombs had on the Japanese people. I suppose if the new film has any message of theme, it'll be better then the Roland Emmerich wreck.

Of course, any new film will have to go up against Pacific Rim. And that's not something I'd want to do.

Via /Film.

Pixar Goes Back To The Well, Again

Courtesy of Pixar

Andrew Stanton suffered a bit of a career set back with John Carter this past spring. He is obviously a director with a great visual eye, as I noted when I reviewed the film, I argued that the failings of that film were far greater then just Stanton's uncertainty with the live action medium. So that he is returning to directing at Pixar is good news. That he is doing so at the helm of a sequel to Finding Nemo, maybe not so much.

Stanton himself said some time ago, and unrelated to this news:
I’m sure you’ll see some other sequels of things as they grow because now we are not so blinded. It’s the originals that keep us really going and it’s the sequels that are like comfort food, and I think it’s the same way for the audience.
It's early days, they are looking at a 2016 release, putting it at the far end of their release schedule, and in the very early stages of development. But part of me is starting to wonder about Pixar. Out of the bat, they had hit after hit, even once being threatened by lawsuit from other studios who felt it was unfair. But it seems that, after they made the last of their famous cafe ideas, their steam is running low.

If that was the age of exceptional films, then maybe their entering now into the age of adequate films. Despite their flaws, both Brave and Cars 2 were mearly acceptable. They just weren't what we had come to expect from the studio. And Finding Nemo 2 would make it the fifth sequel from the studio, the fourth inside six years.  Sequels don't equal bad, look at Toy Story 2 and 3, so I don't judge. But I'm thinking that Pixar's success, and John Lassiter's elevated status within Disney, has meant that the original core group of creators who were responsible for the superior output by the studio has drifted apart. They've allowed new people into the fold, and as Brave proved, they might not be up to the standards Lasseter and So. set, and Lasseter and Co. might not be around to police the standards as they have in the past. Twice in their history they torn movies down and started from scratch, why wasn't Brave given the same treatment?

The up side to all of this is that we might be hearing Albert Brooks and Ellen DeGeneres again soon.

Via /Film.

[Opinion] - Why Batman Begins Is The Perfect Batman Movie

Few people can argue that Nolan's Dark Knight series has had a profound effect on both the way comic book movies are made, but also how the public views them as a subgenre. Like the sword and sorcery genre of fantasty, superheroes have had to overcome an entrenched view that they are somehow less then, that the stories they mean to tell are somehow less worthy then movies that don't feature capes and cowls. Which, when put like that, is just bald faced genrism.

Few can argue that The Dark Knight itself is an incredibly good piece of film making. Yes, it's overly long, and relies a bit too much on... what's the opposite of couincidence? That, whatever that is, it relies too much on it. But beyond all that, it is a tense, character driven examination of belief and duty, and how sacrifice can shape a person. It's just not a very good Batman movie.

Dark Knight is certainly a superior film. But if you defined a Batman movie as a movie about Batman, Dark Knight (the title is very aware of itself) happens only to be a movie with Batman in it. It's a small distrintion, but an important one. Which is why I propose the following: Batman Beings is the perfect Batman movie.

Hit the jump for the argument.

19 Jul 2012

Doctor Who's Series 7 Titles Are Enough To Convince Me

Courtesy of the BBC.
We now know how the majority of the first half of Series 7 will look, with the reveal of more episode titles.

Episode one, written by Stepehn Moffat, will be Asylum of the Daleks.
Episode two, written by Chris Chibnall, is called Dinosaurs on a Spaceship.
Episode three, written by Toby Whithouse, is called A Town called Mercy.
Episode four, written by Chris Chibnall, is called Cubed.

So, the 50th anniversary season will kick off with appearence from every generation of Dalek from across the series' history. Episode two is suddenly very appealing, as it will feature dinosaurs, and they will be on a spaceship (does what it says on the tin, that one). Episode three is the one I'm most looking forward to, the western starring Farscape and SG-1 alum Ben Browder. No word on what episode four is about.

After that, we'll get episode five written by Stephen Moffat, in which either Amy or Rory dies, featuring both the Angels and River (hopefully one last time), which I don't think we've gotten a title for yet, then the Christmas special wherein the new companion will be introduced, also written by Moffat. According to the BBC, this will be follwed by eight new episodes in the new year.

It's interesting to note that each of the episodes so far has a connection to an episode from the show's history. The Daleks, obviously, from the very beginning. Dinosaurs were last seen during the Third Doctor's Invasion of the Dinosaurs, and of course, when Adric smacked into them with a pretty good whallop at the end of Earthshock. The First Doctor did a western , and the Angels are modern, but a favourite. I think that Moffat is taking a page from the show's history, as during the twenthith anniversary, the Fifth Doctor confronted enemies from throughout the show's past. The only thing it needs now is a multi-Doctor episode. Wouldn't that make for a great series finale?

Says Moffat:

Dinosaurs On A Spaceship - what more do you need! The Doctor will come face to face with some of the most monstrous creatures evolution has ever produced, on some of the most monstrous sets we've ever built. We took one look at Chris Chibnall's brilliant script and said to ourselves 'We're going to need a bigger corridor'.
"And Toby Whithouse's A Town Called Mercy takes us into a genre Doctor Who hasn't attempted since the Sixties - it's a full blooded western. We knew from the start we need some serious location shooting for this one, and given the most iconic American setting imaginable, there was only one place to go - Spain."
Via Den of Geek.

Bald Headed Bastards Are Coming This Fall

What I don't like about this trailer for the upcoming final season of Fringe is that it contains mostly footage from last season, with only sparse footage of anything new. What I like about this trailer for the upcoming final season of Fringe is everything else.

I love Fringe, have since day one. And it looks like they're finally embracing the full on crazy. Militant observers, Desmond from LOST, even more Leonard Nemoy. This is going to be a hoot.

Via Topless Robot.

The Punisher Fan Film, Starring The Cast Of The Punisher

The Punisher shouldn't be a hard movie to make. A cop goes crazy, and kills everyone. He's essentailly Batman without the moral code. Of the three Punisher movies, none of them have gotten this right. The first, which should have been the best considering it was made in the 80's, the beating heart of totally insane violence, was just terrible. The second, starring Thomas Jane, certainly had the best cast and the best plot, but was very, very light on the violence and, you know, punishing. Though it did feature John Pinette, one of the funniest comedians you'll ever see in stand up. War Zone was a mess, but it did get the violence right. A little too right, if you can believe that.

So, a Punisher fan film, titled Dirty Laundry, really isn't news. Except that it was made, and stars Thomas Jane. And Ron Perlman, who in other news, actaully wants to make a Hellboy 3 now. Times, they are a changing, I guess.

Via Topless Robot.

It's Not The Golf Cart We Deserve, It's The Golf Cart We Need

My only question about this fantastic tumbler golf cart: if you lodge it in a sandtrap, does the club bag eject out of the front?

Via The Mary Sue.

18 Jul 2012

Drew Struzan To Come Out Of Retirement

Courtesy of Drew Struzan
 Some of you might be thinking, "who?" Others might be thinking "how on Earth did this much peanut butter get in there?" I haven't got an answer for the second one, but the first is easy. Drew Struzan was one of the most prolific movie poster artists of the eighties and nineties. In my personal collection, a good dozen are examples of Struzan's works. He had a close relationship with George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, doing the artwork for all six Star Wars films, all four Indiana Jones movies, the first four Muppet movies, and all three Back to the Future films, as well as dozens more films.

This was before photoshop, and it became easier just to tack a couple floating heads above the title, or cut and paste (and smooth out) the actors without them having to be in the room together. This was a time before teaser posters, and a dozen 'clip footage' releases. This was when a poster was the primary public face of a film, and it was treated with respect and admiration. Want a briefer example of this, see the scene in The Mist where the main character's art was destroyed by the storm, and he complains that the studio will just slap something together. The poster Thomas Jane was 'working' on? Painted by Dan Struzan.

In 2008, Struzan retired. Since then, he was done odd jobs, mostly as background work for films (see The Mist). Lately, he's been licensing these works to Mondo, the boutique at the Alamo Drafthouse, to amazing success. So much success that Struzan is coming out of retirement to work with Mondo on some unannounced projects. Projects I greatly look forward to.

Hit the jump for a small collection of (hopefully familiar) examples of Struzan's work.

Superhero Bits

Because of San Diego, a lot of little pieces of news are dripping out of the firmament. Here are some things:

- That armour above is the official reveal of the Mark VIII suit that Tony will be wearing in Iron Man 3. It is not good. If Joss Whedon thought the triangle from Iron Man 2 was "ass" because it wasn't iconic, I wonder what thoughts he might have for them funking with the colour scheme. Seriously though, the crusty mustard colour is way too muted, and way too prevalent. Unless it's meant to be a camo-scheme (in which case, why keep the red?), or if they'll be doing something to it in post, this looks reasonably terrible.

- Apparently, Robert Downy Jr. made an appearance at the Marvel panel, during which Marvel officially announced that Guardians of the Galaxy will be made, and feature a gun toting raccoon, but also that Ant-man is moving forward, finally, though no specifics were offered in terms of cast or date. Downy brought with him footage of Iron Man 3, including a clip of Ben Kingsley wearing ten rings, confirming what I thought when he was cast.

Hit the jump for the rest, which include Thor and Cap sequel names, Fantastic Four and Daredevil news, and a Superman poster.

New Dark Knight Posters

Some new Dark Knight Rises posters have arrived before the film's release. And they still aren't as good as those Rise/Rain posters, but what can you do?

Hit the jump to see the others.

Neil deGrasse Tyson Knows What God Needs With A Starship, He's Just Not Saying

He will, however, appear at Comic-con, as a spectator, walk to the mic, and proceed to explain to the actual guests, and the audience, why the Enterprise is the greatest spaceship ever.

The question is, does he really believe that, or is he just trying to distract us form his own ship, the USS Suck It Bitches, built in secret out of composite light weight titanium and the letters of children still rilled up about Pluto's demotion. Powered by scientific apathy and ignorance, he shall launch at a time near the equinox, just to mess with people, and travel to a Lagrangian point, where he shall watch us destroy ourselves from his gravitational neutral throne. Then he and the downloaded consciousness of Carl Sagan shall debate the grand questions: if Aaron Sorkin made a sci-fi series, would it look anything like Battlestar?

Via Topless Robot.

[Review] - Eureka Series Finale, Season 5 Episode 13, "Just Another Day"

Courtesy of NBCUniversal
What is the measure of a good series finale? Wrapping up story lines, bringing characters to conclusion, leaving things in a place that everyone can feel good about. How about playing on the themes of the series as a whole? How about having one last chance to be bold? How about taking the opportunity to do something unexpected, and redefine the status quo, since at the end of the hour, there will be no status to quo?

Eureka left us exactly the way I expected it would. There were shout outs, call backs, and a montage. Things were wrapped up, but nothing huge happened. In fact, it seemed like it went out of it's way not to be a grand finale, but as the title says, just another day. Maybe that was an enlightened choice for creators Cosby and Paglia. Maybe it was smart, after a season of missteps, to keep things relatively subdued, to let the figurative (and in Jo's case, literal) hair down, and relax.

Things could have been a lot worse. And somethings could have been a lot better. But at the end of the hour, I was smiling. Despite problems this year, and some faltering along the way, I was happy to have spent time in Eureka. Thanks to DVDs, and the suggestion at the end of the episode, all of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.

Hit the jump for one last, spoiler filled review.

17 Jul 2012

Game Of Thrones Gets An Early Start

It's July. The new series won't start until at least April. And yet, here we have the first promo for the new season of Game of Thrones, basically a role call of new actors in new roles. A couple of these I mentioned before, and Mackenzie Crook is now confirmed. The biggest announcement to come from this video is Dame Diana Riggs, fresh off her guest spot on Doctor Who, has been cast as Oleanna Martell, basically Tyrion is he were older, wiser, and woman-kind. Which is a pivotal role to fill, and once again the producers have hired exactly the right person to play the part.

Now if they could stop releasing videos where actors saying nothing while saying a lot of stuff, it would cut down on the sound of me grinding my teeth out of annoyance.

Via Topless Robot.

Firefly 10th Anniversary Panel Will Remind You Of Better Days

So, when they said the entire cast would attend the 10th anniversary panel for Firefly, turns out it was just Tudyk, Baldwin, Glau, Maher, and Fillion. But that any of them, plus Minear and Joss Whedon, appeared at all still makes for an hour of fun. That and the camera man getting punched with excitement after Whedon was introduced.

I think it speaks to how much, not the fans loving the creators, but the creators loving the fans, that they all came out with cameras running pointing towards the audience. That Fillion had to keep from breaking down emotionally. That each of them has such clear recollections of minutia that occurred while working for half a year, a decade ago.

People whine all the time that "it was cancelled, it wasn't that good. let it go". Except it was that good, and not just because of the stories it told, or the manner in which it told them. The show, on screen and off, behind the scenes and in the hearts of millions, was a force for good. Like Star Trek in the 60's, it's existence, and it's cancellation, brought people and still brings people together. And I'll never be ashamed for being a fan.

And remember, Star Trek was cancelled too. And that worked out pretty well for them.
Via Topless Robot.

It's Not Enough To Make Something Disappear. You Have To Bring It Back

Watch the above video. Then jump over, and read this article. Before he starts cussing and going off on how Bruce Wayne is going to die, he hits on something interesting. The idea that Christopher Nolan hasn't just been making interesting movies, but rather making two trilogies at the same time. And that he told us exactly what he was doing in my favourite of his films, The Prestige.

I love that movie. It combines some of my great loves: Victorian era dramas, prestidigitation. If it had dinosaurs or Muppets, I'd never watch anything else (movie pitch: dinosaur puppets that are close up illusionists in the Edwardian era. With murder).

[Review] - Breaking Bad, Season 5 Episode 1 "Live Free Or Die"

Courtesy of Sony Television
A couple weeks ago I was reading an article, I can't remember where, that suggested while the tongue was planted firmly in the cheek, that Mythbusters should do a Breaking Bad themed episode. See if acid really could eat through a bathtub and floor, that sort of thing.

Thing is, after this week's premier, I'm fully endorsing that idea, because I want to see if a wreaking yard magnet hooked up to 24 batteries in parallel can generate enough pull to not only wipe a computer, but pull a Uhaul over on it's side. I want to see that, and until they tell me otherwise, I'll believe that it worked because Walt told me it worked.

Reviewing Game of Thrones was easy, because there is enough going on with that show that they drop the ball from time to time. Reviewing Eureka is easy because they've sucked more often then they haven't this season. Reviewing Breaking Bad is going to be hard, because they rarely misstep. They rarely turn in half finished work, and Cranston is always on his game. There are few imperfections on the side of the bottle. So, we'll see how this goes.

Hit the jump for the review.

16 Jul 2012

Sandman Returns

Neil Gaiman will be writing a new Sandman mini-series. That's really, all I should have to say about such a thing, but I'll go on. From the man himself:
"When I finished writing The Sandman, there was one tale still untold. The story of what had happened to Morpheus to allow him to be so easily captured in The Sandman #1, and why he was returned from far away, exhausted beyond imagining, and dressed for war," said Gaiman in the official statement. "It was a story that we discussed telling for Sandman's 20th anniversary... but the time got away from us. And now, with Sandman's 25th anniversary year coming up, I'm delighted, and nervous, that that story is finally going to be told."
Kevin Smith touched lightly on this subject when he brought Green Arrow back from the dead, but that was Kevin Smith writing Green Arrow, and this is Neil Gaiman writing Sandman, so I think you know which side I'm coming down on.

Art will be handled by Batwoman artist JH Williams, who I'm going to admit, I haven't taken to. There is a feeling that whenever anything is so different from the norm, it has to be good. Sometimes this is true. And Williams is clearly gifted, I've just never thought that his style fit the world of the Bat family. I do think his style will be right at home in the world of the Undying, and cannot wait for this title to be released.

Via Topless Robot.

I Think 'Act Of God' Claims Are Going To Go Up

I'm not the big a fan of fighting games. Never have been. I mean, I've always had a Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter game in my collection, if only for variation, but they require no skill to play. You mash the buttons until the other guy falls over. I've never played through the story mode on any of the games I've owned, because after seven or either fights, I get bored. It's too repetitive, too banal, and too restrictive.

But since I've got the PS3 now, and can actually get excited about these things again, I might pick up a copy of Injustice: Gods Among Us, if only so I can punch the ever living crap out of the Flash. And not just punch. This game looks like what would happen if everyone in the Justice League found out everyone else had slept with their sister.

Via Topless Robot.

The Dark Knight Will Make Your Urine Levels Rise

The Dark Knight Rises will be 164 minutes and 27 seconds, or shy of three hours. Making it the longest of the three Nolan films (actually, of any Batman movie). So, don't go for the big gulp, OK?

Also, over a year ago, Chris Sims over at ComicsAlliance, along with David Uzumeri, took a good long look at every Batman movie ever made. This was after they reviewed every episode of Smallville Season 10, and just before they started looking at every Superman movie, and every Blade film (looks like next they'll be doing X-Men). Their reviews are funny, but also very in depth, especially when they got around to The Dark Knight.

Considering how connected, and how pervasive the imagery and themes of the Nolan pictures are, you might want to head on over and give the reviews a read before you settle down into The Dark Knight Rises, so you don't miss anything.

If for no other reason then, until I read these reviews I never realized that everything Alfred says in the films, comes true. So, be on the look out for that.

Via Den of Geek.

[Review] - Lollipop Chainsaw, On PS3

Courtesy of WarnerBros Interactive
Until the beginning of this month, the last new release game I'd played was Ghostbusters on the PS2, which I think was also one of the last games released on the PS2. Until this month, I'd never played a current generation video game. The intention was to buy the PS3, buy Lego Batman 2, and have a happy couple weeks playing through (a speed which guaranties that game reviews will be few and far between). Instead, I ended up with a copy of Lollipop Chainsaw in my console, and a couple weeks became a couple days, as I hacked, sawed and pom-pommed my way through a manageable zombie uprising.

And I had a blast doing so. The game won't win any awards for artistic integrity, but it both owns and subverts the genre and style it has been made in, with ever loving nods and winks all around. It will get an audience based on mammaries alone, but it deserves an audience who will play it because it's fun and engaging. But at first glance, most anyone will think will be boobs.

Hit the jump for the review.

13 Jul 2012

Neil Gaiman Writes A T-Shirt

Below is a T-shirt available on Threadless, featuring art by 30 Days of Night creator Ben Templesmith, and featuring the words of Neil Gaiman's poem The Day The Saucers Came, which he reads above. The poem is about a lot of things, on the surface it's about the shit hitting the fan, and how in the modern culture, we tend not to notice things. It's about ego, and obsession, and it's a little about love. But I think it glosses over the most important detail:

There should be, right now, a Yeti Day.

Via The Mary Sue.

He's A Faceless One! Kill Him With Fire And Ice!

Accents are another thing all together when doing impressions. Accents are about pronunciation, not about pitch and timbre. The thing about impressions is that, generally speaking, there is a range of sounds that anyone can make around the natural pitch and timbre of their voice. They can go up, and they can go down within a certain range, which makes certain voices or sounds easier to mimic. The truly impressive impressionists are those that can make sounds outside of their range.

There are certain impressions I can do, and despite a deeper voice, they tend to nestle around the Dr. Evil/Kermit the Frog/Neil Young while singing range. Though I can go as high as Mickey Mouse, and as low as Morgan Freeman.

But this kid put me to shame. I once trained myself in eleven separate voices from The Simpsons, but some were pretty rough, and most were just repeating lines of dialogue from the show. This kid, especially his Ned Stark and Jorah Mormont, is just plain impressive. I'd be interested to here what he really sounds like, to see how far outside of himself he's reaching.

Via The Mary Sue.

Browncoats United

The Firefly/Serenity Reunion panel, the one whose lineup is reaching past my house 3000 miles away, will be televised. So, you can go sit down.

The Science Channel in the US, the first network to air every episode of Firefly, in order, including the unaired episodes from the DVD, and who is sponsoring this panel, will film the entire thing, plus special exclusive interviews with the cast afterwards to air as a one hour special called Browncoats United on November 11th. The exclusive interviews "promises to unearth defining memories and first-person accounts of making the show from both sides of the camera". I'm always in favour of hearing more about how they made the show, but ten years on, how many stories are left that haven't been told at conventions, on commentaries, in special features, on talk shows and podcasts?

You know what we need? New memories. That's the ticket.

Via The Mary Sue.

[Graphic] - Fits and Starts #5

Hit the jump for some musings.

12 Jul 2012

Marvel Shows Their Cards With Item 47 Poster

Now, maybe it's just because of the Comic-Con going on down in San Diego, but the fact that Marvel would release a poster for a short film they'll include on the DVD is of interest to me. It suggests, if it isn't just a ploy to get the easily excitable excited, that their focus is not now just on theatrical endeavours.

There was a rumour that, had AKA Jessica Jones went ahead on ABC, it would have taken place within the MCU. That Stark Industries was going to be a big part of the plot, and that more minor characters from the catalogue that wouldn't have found their way into films, would have been introduced on TV. AKA fell through, but a part of me wonders if they'll be diverting time and effort into expanding the universe in other, less billion dollar movie, directions now.

I'm alright with that.

Via The Mary Sue.

I Think We Would All Like A Jelly Baby At This Point

Tom Baker might be returning to Doctor Who.

That's the action, here comes the pause. This might not happen. I know that's a little like saying "we're going to get a pet", only for it to be a pet rock, but it's important to note that neither Steven Moffat, Tom Baker, or the BBC have made this announcement. It was picked up from a story in the Daily Express, and the Blastr article erroneously uses words like 'definately' when it should be using words like 'might be'.

But, if true, it makes sense. Baker famously refused to take part int eh Five Doctors 20th anniversary special, having just departed the show after seven years, making him the longest serving, and best known, and for many, most loved, Doctor in the shows history. His tenure was the final change over from sciencey thriller show to action adventurey show. His Doctor was the most alien of all the incarnations, the most volatile, the most humane, and the most eccentric. So much of what went wrong with the show in the later years was the BBC trying to get back what they had during Baker's days.

Now, to get around the fact that he is quiet a bit older, and fatter then when he left the show three decades ago, and I think the 50th is shaping up nicely. Though, really, 8th needs some love.

Via Blastr.

Star Trek 2 Villain Probably Not Revealed

I smell bullshit on this, but we'll go with it for now.

Karl Urban, who is playing Dr. McCoy in Star Trek 2, as stated that Benedict Cumberbatch will be playing Kirk's long time friend, and eventual demi-god killed by a pile of falling rocks, Gary Mitchell in the sequel.

Three pieces of evidence against this: first, last week the writers provided a terribly unhelpful list of five characters not appearing in Star Trek 2. Gary Mitchell was on that list. Second, the writers have said several times that the movie would not retell any classic stories from the series or the films, and Gary Mitchell only appeared in one episode, so his inclusion would pretty much be a retelling of that story. Third, the writers have said that the comics being published from IDW, which are set between the two films, and are retellings of classic episodes, contain hints to the plot of the sequel, but won't be directly referred to. And considering that the first arc they did for the comics was the Gary Mitchell story, I call bullshit. I think someone is playing a game of misdirection. Or, Karl Urban, who is a known geek and the sort of guy who would know who Gary Mitchell is, and would know that only certain people would recognize the name, is having a bit of fun.

I'm betting on the latter.

Via Topless Robot.

Not So Much Unexpected, As A Well Planned Journey

There is a rule to the internet, that as soon as you post something, more information will immediately become available elsewhere. So, when I posted the Hobbit Comic-Con poster the other day, it was just a temptation for the studio to go ahead and release the above image, which gives away every major plot point of the first of the two films. EW has an interactive version where you can zoom in on details with an annoying magnifying glass thing here.

Few things: I expect each of these images to be it's own poster at some point, though the only two that gets me going are the first image of Gandalf at Bag-End, and him with the bear. Which leads to my continued amazement that, considering they cut Tom Bombadil from the Fellowship a decade ago, that they including Beorn in the Hobbit. I suppose every thing's better with bears.

Third, this poster clearly shows the movie's redesign on the Wargs, which Peter Jackson got in shit over after Two Towers because he made the wolves look like hyenas. He has an out, since they were Southern Wargs, and these are Northern ones. Del Toro had went on record when he was directing that the wolves would look like wolves, and I guess Jackson didn't disagree. I like these designs more.

Fourth, to anyone who has read the books, we now know exactly what will happen in the film. The only surprise left would be additional material with the White Council.

Finally, the Hobbit was the first real novel I ever read by myself. It was given to me when I was young by a family member, who loved it, and thought I should to. And when I reached that point that all children do, when they want to feast on the words and images, and don't want to rely on someone else, I picked up the Hobbit first. I read it on the bus to and from school. I read it during recess. I read it at night, and when I was done, I knew I had read something great. I went on to read Verne and Wells and Doyle, and tried my hand at Dickens, and the world of the written world opened up to me, and from that moment on there wasn't anything I've wanted to do more then create in the same way. I read good books, and I read many bad books, but until I read Douglas Adams, I never read a better book. The Hobbit was my favourite book in the world, because as far as I was concerned, it was the first book in the world, and it still sits at number two on my list. There are worse ways to fall in love with literature.

My point is, I've been waiting for this movie since the day I finished the book all those years ago. And it amazes me they included the bear.

Hobbit Lego will be released in early December.

Via First Showing.

11 Jul 2012

Hell Yes

The boy above is six year old Zachery, who is currently undergoing treatment for leukemia. The Make-A-Wish Foundation reported his wish to "meet, and become, Hellboy", his favourite movie character. The wish was forwarded to Spectral Motion, the special effects studio that worked on the two Hellboy films, and did the Hellboy makeup itself.
They, in turn, contacted Ron Perlman, who played Hellboy in those films, and in a couple animated features, and in the video game Science of Evil, who didn't hesitate for a moment to endure the four hour procedure of being turned into Mike Mignola's creation, a procedure that he so hates that it pretty much guaranteed no Hellboy 3. And then he and Zachery hung out for the day. Apparently, Zachery was later made up to look like Hellboy himself.
Everything about this story is fantastic, and awesome, and wonderful. And we can add Ron Perlman to the list with Johnny Depp and Tom Baker of actors willing to go out of their way to make kids feel fantastic, and awesome, and wonderful.

Hit the jump to see a couple more pictures, including one of little Hellboy.

Total Ripoff

Some industrious fellow (there are always some of those around the internet, aren't there) has taken the first Total Recall trailer, and made side by side comparisons from the original film.

I'm not a fan of remakes. I find they tend to be pointless. Unless you've got something new, something imaginative and something profound to say with the material, let the material stand on it's own and make your own damned story. And yes, I haven't seen the film, and yes, the second trailer did look better then this one. But the fact that so many scenes are this similar isn't making me think this is any less of a waste of time and film.

Via Topless Robot.

Some Stuff, With Fraggles

Courtesy of the Jim Henson Company
Jim Henson Company, and DHX Media are teaming up to make a new animated series titled the Doozers. If that sounds familiar, they were the tiny green workers that filled Fraggle Rock, building large constructions that Fraggles would eat, forcing the Doozers to build new ones. They represented a stable ecosystem on the show, as well as being the counter to the Fraggle's more hippy-like behaviour, as exemplified in their line from the shows theme, "work your cares away, dancing's for another day." No word on what the series will be about.

Fun fact: of the original three Muppet shows, Fraggle Rock is the only one that the Jim Henson Company still owns the rights to.

Reports are that Michael Fassbender will be playing Desmond in a film version of Assassin's Creed. I've never played a minute of the games, so I have no idea who Desmond is, or what he does. Chartered Accountancy, if the title is any indication. I'm also a much bigger fan of Tom Hiddleston then Fassbender, so I'm having a hard time getting excited about this.

But according to the link below, Kristen Bell plays a role in the game, and the character was designed based on her appearance, and advocates that she be cast in that role for the film. I would approve of this, and might get my interest up. Until then, that is all.

Via /Film, and Topless Robot.

[Review] - Eureka, Season 5 Episode 12, "Double Take"

Courtesy of NBCUniversal
 Were they trying to win a contest, or did the writers have a bet to see how many references they could cram into a single episode, let alone a single scene? Aside from the Invasion of the Body Snatchers, which they couldn't help but name check, there were Aliens, Blade Runner, Battlestar, Lord of the Rings, Batman Begins, and The Shining references, and I'm sure I missed many more.

Usually when a show that isn't Family Guy or Spaced uses that many references in one episode, it is as a crutch because the plot can't support the episode. Which is why I mention it, because this episode, like last week's, is a marked improvement over the rest of the season. It didn't need a crutch. Aside from a little journey into techno nonsense at the start, and some character development sacrifices, this was a tense thriller that could have been a hell of a way to end both the season, and the series. Except that it isn't, so lets get on with it.

Hit the jump for the review, which 4 out of 5 cats agree, contains spoliers.

10 Jul 2012

Dinosaurs vs. Aliens Has Both Of Those Things

Director Barry Sonnenfield had a dream. A dream of a world in which intelligent dinosaurs fought a battle against invading aliens in the prehistoric world. A dream that comic book writer Grant Morrison would help him craft this world, and that it would eventually be turned into a motion comic series from Yahoo.

So, I guess, his dreams have pretty much come true. I read the free comic book day issue of Dinosaurs vs. Aliens, and it was alright. Certainly not spectacular, but different. Despite the fact that there is no scientific evidence to support it (fiction is allowed a certain amount of wiggle room), I kind of dug the idea that dinosaurs had a dolphin level of intelligence that manifested as tribal behaviour.

I don't like motion comics. I'd much rather watch an actual cartoon then a picture with moving eyes. If I wanted to see that, I'd go to an Edwardian dinner party with a mysterious host, and a shocking murder.

Via /Film.

Damn Carl, Always Making Things Difficult

In Star Trek: The Next Generation, Wil Wheaton played Wesley Crusher, a character hated by fans the world over. Wheaton eventually grew into an impressive, if self referential, actor, and internet personality.

In The Walking Dead, Chandler Riggs plays Carl, a character hated by the fans the world over. And if this video is any indication, he's got a Wheaton-esque sense of humour that only fairs well for the future.

My question is this: what is the seven hells are these two doing in Golden Coast, Australia?

Via Topless Robot.

Taken 2 Will Be Awesome

For a while, I've given Taken the credit for making Liam Neeson into an action hero, but I rewatched Batman Begins the other day, and I'm fairly certain it was that one instead. Not that it matters, because the result is the same: Liam Neeson, a very fun and affable man, can very easily transform himself into someone whose sandwich you would not eat out of the break room fridge.

Via Den of Geek.

New Posters, For New Films

So that is the Comic-Con promotional poster for the first part of the Hobbit, and I've got to say, for my money, it's the best poster from the saga, only barely beating out the poster of the Argonath from the Fellowship. It's beautiful, and simple, and encapsulates the feeling of the early chapters of the Hobbit wonderfully.

On top of that, Peter Jackson has released this statement:

"We made it! Shoot day 266 and the end of principal photography on The Hobbit. Thanks to our fantastic cast and crew for getting us this far, and to all of you for your support! Next stop, the cutting room. Oh, and Comic Con!"

And talking about simplicity, here is the first poster for Pacific Rim, from Hellboy director Guillermo del Toro. I foresee a series of Transformers style posters for this film, featuring the robots and monsters.

Via Den of Geek, and again.

A Note From The Author

Approximately the author, at night
Technically, I'm on vacation for the next little while, and while I intend to keep a regular schedule, with regular updates, I am only one man, doing this for his own enjoyment, and hopefully some of yours, and I can't guarantee the boat I'm sitting in, on lake I'm sitting in the middle of, will have wireless. So if the number of posts per day becomes weirdly fluid, there you go.

Why don't you read a book, for the love of gods. It's got to be better then this crap.

9 Jul 2012

So It Begins...

Courtesy of HBO

The second season ended only a couple months ago, and we've got the better part of a year before we start seeing anything from season three, but Game of Thrones is getting ready to begin production on the forthcoming season in the coming weeks. Expect the trickle of news to start sometime around the show's Comic-con appearance, and not stop until the credits role next spring.

And to start with, we have two new cast members. Clive Russell, known from both of the Guy Richie Sherlock Holmes', and from a brief stint on Coronation Street, will play Catelyn's brother, Brynden,"The Blackfish".

Charlotte Hope, a new British television actress, having appeared on Waking the Dead, will be playing a character called Myranda. There is a character by that name in the books, but she's not introduced until book four, which is at least two seasons away. So either she's getting moved up (the most likely) or she's playing someone else (less likely).

There is also a rumour that Mackenzie Crook, of the British Office, and the first three Pirates movies (the fellow with the wooden eye) might have a role, but nothing has been confirmed.

And that will be the song of the next six months. Nothing has been confirmed.

Via Den of Geek.

Ernest Borgnine Has Died

Borgnine was awesome. He won Oscars, Emmys, and Golden Globes. He served in the Navy during WWII, accruing many medals and honours, and was eventually given an honorary promotion for his support of the navy, as well as his role in McHale's Navy.

He appeared in From Here To Eternity, Flight of the Phoenix, The Dirty Dozen, The Poseidon Adventure, Airwolf, and Spongebob Squarepants. From 1951 to his death on Sunday, he never stopped working, and always said it was his goal to appear in 100 films. I don't know if he reached that goal or not.

Marvel To Make Us Fall In Love With A New SHIELD Agent, Only To Be Eaten By A Deer

Or some damned, thing, I'm sure.

Marvel is filming a new short film, Item 47, to be added to the Avengers DVD, making it the third after the wonderful Consultant and A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Thor's Hammer. Now, of course, both of those featured Agent Coulson, but that's not going to happen now, so we move on. Move on, dammit, but why won't it stop hurting inside?

The new film will star Lizzy Caplan and Jesse Bradford as a couple who find one of the alien guns after the events of the Avengers, and wacky hijinks ensue. Now, I'm a fan of Caplan, and this announcement is actually kind of disappointing, because it means she won't be playing any other roles in future MCU films, unless this character is a forerunner to something bigger.

But what I'm focused on is who else is in the film. Maximiliano Hernández, who has been playing a SHIELD agent all along, will appear with Titus Welliver, or the Smoke Monster from LOST. Welliver is very good at playing the straight man, but he can also be very, very funny. Could he be the new SHIELD agent to capture our hearts, to make our eyes swoon, to make the inside-hurt stop?

We'll have to wait until the fall to see.

Via The Mary Sue.

[Review] - The Amazing Spider-man

Courtesy of Sony Pictures

In any other year, a new Spider-man movie would have been big news. Judging from it's box office returns, it's had a very good week at the cinemas, but it got lost in the shuffle between The Avengers and Dark Knight Rises. The PR campaigns for those two films so completely overshadowed Spider-man's that Sony ultimately ended up releasing nearly thirty minutes, almost a fifth of the length of the film, in footage beforehand, including a scene from the post-credits sequence in the trailer. Even last year, going up against Captain America, Spider-man would have been the star of the summer.

However, if it had still been this Spider-man, it still wouldn't have made it any better of a film. The risk of putting any adjectives in your movie title is that it invites comments, and frankly this Spider-man isn't amazing. It isn't, as the sequel could conceivably be called, spectacular. It is, from the outset, badly paced, poorly constructed and utterly forgettable. In terms of Marvel's output, this is on par with Daredevil.

Hit the jump for the review, where I attempt not to draw comparison with Raimi's films, and end up spoiling a few things.

6 Jul 2012

Nick Offerman Is A Better Man Then You: He's A Swanson

I am so sorry. So, so sorry. But I had to... How could I not?
Nick Offerman, the man behind the moustache that is Ron Swanson, has done a fantastic interview with GQ, which you will now go and read here. Go on. OK, for those that didn't, I've pulled my favourite quotes. I can think of no better way to end the week then basking in the glow of this man's advice.
  • I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.
  • [Concerning Community boss Dan Harmon's firing] I think Dan is brilliant, but we all kind of hung our heads and thought, That's no way for a boss to behave.
  • You always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window. In the traditional role of man, it falls to you to keep the weather out and fish in the boat.
  • Having manners was equivalent to a superpower in the [movie] business.
  • [After the size of his penis was compared to the size of his truck] I actually haul trees that I cut with my chainsaw, ma'am. And my genitals are perfectly adequate.
  • Learn to do something with your hands. Ladies and men alike find handcrafting to be really sexy.
  • Of course smartphones are brilliant inventions, but the nefarious thing about Twitter and other social media is that it starts to fill all the gaps in your day. I quickly become an addict.
  • It's not that different from any relationship where you live with someone: At some point they're going to get on your tits and you need to rise above it. [Author's note: unless they leave crab meat everywhere. In which case, frak them].
  • Grab yourself by your bootstraps and do it yourself, jerk [in context, it's about Twitter, but really, that's just the best #1 rule to life there can be. Maybe "don't fight bears", but certainly it's in the top five.]

Via Warming Glow.
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